My Story

About
Brenda

Welcome to my website. I’d like for you to get to know me a little bit and I suppose the best way to do that is to tell my story. There was a time not too long ago that I would have loved the opportunity to tell my story, every step along the path, every way that I had been mistreated and misunderstood, and how I triumphantly made it through to be the successful person I am today!! But, these days I have a different interpretation of what it means to tell my story and it has everything to do with how I will assist you with your recovery.

You see, I don’t feel that our spirit tells stories. It has experiences that help it evolve; that’s it’s purpose. When the spirit chooses to evolve by becoming a human it takes on an ego and egos exist for storytelling. As humans we become our stories and that can hold us back at times. Like gender or race, our stories can become how we define ourselves when really all of that passes when we pass. That’s what scares us, that we might lose us in losing our stories. Today, I feel free from that fear. I will tell you where I’ve been, but I am much more interested in the present moment because that’s where we make the changes we need to make to have a better tomorrow. So here goes…..

So, what’s to tell, what do you need to know to know me? I was born in the 60’s so I know how far we’ve come with technology, but can appreciate a simpler time too. I am a female so I have experienced a lack of opportunity and sexual harassment along the way. That has not changed as much as it should have since the 60’s, still a work in progress for humanity. I was a very good student until my hormones and a substantial lack of self-esteem and self-pity led to rebellious ways. My selfish nature calmed down when I had my first child in my 20’s and I was a dedicated mom and wife. The marriage lasted 20 years and I moved across the country to California where I’d never been. It was and still is the biggest adventure I’ve ever been on.

In California I rediscovered every aspect of myself. I had a job as a teacher which was my career choice, but I became a singer/songwriter, an artist, an expressive arts teacher, a Reiki practitioner, whatever moved me. I also discovered that a certain “pattern” had followed me to California which was the tendency to choose partners with addictions and this time it led to an increase in drinking alcohol for myself. I went to Al-anon and then AA for years. Both programs helped me let go of blaming others and I did stop drinking. Life got better again.

 I am a strong proponent of the law of attraction which I discovered in 2008. This “law” basically states that what you think about is what will be attracted into your life. As I studied this concept and meditated on what showed up in my life I found it easier to understand the life I had led, but not so much the life right in front of me. It is harder to accept what you don’t like when it’s happening to you in real time, not to mention that most of us like to see the rewards for all our hard work and it’s difficult to change your life quickly. What we don’t often realize is that while we think we’re waiting for something good to appear, life is bringing what we are still in line with subconsciously. So, enter life…..

In 2017, I fell off a motorcycle and shattered my right collarbone. I had never had a serious injury like that. They didn’t operate; they decided that I should wear a brace and that everything would mend in place. For weeks I needed my partner to care for me which he did lovingly, but all that time sitting up in bed gave me time to think. I had already cut back on my work due to the injury and I liked working from home once I could type. I found out that I could survive on part-time work better than I thought and I liked my time at home.I was also faced with thoughts I had had for awhile about missing my family back East and was emotionally very torn between my partner’s desire to live in California and my desire to have him and my family on the East Coast.

I am back in Massachusetts now after assisting my partner pass from a very quick, aggressive cancer. That experience has been life-changing for me. When there are no more options and you have to accept death you are humbled beyond belief and you begin to realize that you better get over your fear because it will be 100 times more painful. This was true for him and for me as his caregiver. I watched his spirit leave his body and I realized in that moment that it was his spirit I was in love with and that I would be with that spirit again one day. There is no true loss. And that brings me to now. I have been surrounded by people who were either addicted, living with someone addicted, or affected by someone in the past who was addicted all of my life and I want to say this. Letting go of the fear of dying is easier than letting go of the fear of living until you let go of the fear of dying. That’s what keeps us in the state of addiction and in a state of negative emotions; fear of not knowing how to truly live. Fear of truly knowing how to live with yourself and the awareness that the clock is ticking. Balancing your life may or may not mean giving up a substance, a person, or an activity completely.

As a Recovery Coach and as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor I would like to help you succeed in life. True success is not having an incredible career or partner or having enough money that you never have to worry. True success is being at peace with yourself in every area of your life. It is possible to achieve this. It’s what our spirit always knew; that’s why the spirit has no need for stories, it already knows the ending.

Our Areas of

Focus for Recovery

  • What hasn’t worked so far?
  •  Understanding what addiction is (genetic and environmental factors)
  • Using your body, your mind, and your emotions to be in charge of your addiction and your pain
  • Goal setting to improve all areas of your life
  • Living through the grief process

Communication is Oxygen

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